LOVE, LUST AND MARRIAGE

LOVE: When intercourse is called “making love.”
LUST: When intercourse is called “screwing.”
MARRIAGE: When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.

LOVE: When you share everything you own.
LUST: When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE: When the bank owns everything.

LOVE: When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST: When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE: When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

LOVE: When you write poems about your partner.
LUST: When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE: When all you write is checks.

LOVE: When your only concern is your partner’s feelings.
LUST: When your only concern is finding a room with mirrors everywhere.
MARRIAGE: When your only concern is what’s on TV.

LOVE: When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST: When the songs on the radio determine how you should do it.
MARRIAGE: When you listen to talk radio.

LOVE: When you’re only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST: When you’re only interested in doing things your partner.
MARRIAGE: When you’re only interested in your golf score.

LOVE: You only leave the house to buy coffee and donuts.
LUST: You only leave the house to buy condoms and Vaseline.
MARRIAGE: You only leave the house when you’re allowed.