TRUE MEANINGS OF SOME WORDS...

School:
A place where Papa pays
and Son plays.

Life Insurance:
A contract that
keeps you poor all your life so
that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up
to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:
It's an agreement in
which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by
which masculine willpower is
defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture:
An art of transferring
information from the notes of
the Lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through
"the minds of either"

Conference:
The confusion of one
man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a
cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary :
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.

Father:
A banker provided by
nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from
the rest....except that he got
caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when
you are late and late when you
are early.

Politician :
One who shakes your
hand before elections and your
Confidence after.

Doctor :
A person who kills your
ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:
Books, which people
praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot
of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can
relax after your strenuous home
life.

Yawn:
The only time some
married men ever get to open
their mouth.

Etc.:
A sign to make others
believe that you know more than
you actually do.

Committee :
Individuals who can
do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:
The name men give
to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end
all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments
himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead .