Technical Terminology in Non-technical World

LOG ON :
Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.

LOG OFF:
Not adding any more wood to the barbie.

MONITOR:
Keeping an eye on the barbie.

DOWNLOAD:
Getting the firewood off the ute.

HARD DRIVE:
Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD:
Where you hang the ute keys.

WINDOW:
What you shut when the weather’s cold.

SCREEN:
What you shut in the mozzie season.

BYTE:
What mozzies do.

MEGABYTE:
What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP:
A bar snack.

MICROCHIP:
What’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips.

MODEM:
What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP:
Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE:
Plastic knives & forks.

HARDWARE:
Stainless steel knives & forks.

MOUSE:
The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME:
What holds the shed up.

WEB:
What spiders make.

WEBSITE:
Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE:
What you do when the ute won’t go.

CURSOR:
What you say when the ute won’t go.

YAHOO:
What you say when the ute does go.

UPGRADE:
A steep hill.

SERVER:
The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

MAIL SERVER:
The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

USER:
The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

NETWORK:
What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET:
Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE:
What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.

ONLINE:
Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE:
Where the washing end’s up when the pegs aren’t strong enough.

Slang help -
Barbie: Barbecue
Mozzie: Mosquitoes
Ute: Utility Vehicle