Thursday, October 9, 2008
Teresa sues Utusan for RM30m - Malaysiakini
Seputeh Member of Parliment Teresa Kok Suh Sim has filed a RM30mil defamation suit against Utusan Melayu (M) Bhd and its editor over the publication of an article on azan (call for prayers) last month.
The writ of summons was filed at the Civil High Court registry in the Jalan Duta Court Complex on Thursday, through law firm, S. N. Nair & Partner.
In her statement of claim, Teresa, who is also Selangor senior state executive council member, claimed that the article headlined Azan, Jawi, Jais, UiTM dan baalifbaya, published in its newspaper on Sept 1, meant that she was untrustworthy, a bad politician, racist and anti-Islam.
She claimed that the defamatory article was also understood to mean that she was also an intolerant, chauvinistic politician who had committed a criminal offence which was punishable with imprisonment.
Teresa, 44, said the defendants published the article in question with the knowledge and/or with the intention that the gist of the article would be republished in the local and international media, both electronic and the press.
Teresa, who was arrested under the Internal Security Act (ISA) for seven days following the issue, said the defamatory article was republished and disseminated and circulated in Malaysia and to the world, through Utusan’s online services.
She said as a result, her reputation was gravely injured and also caused irreparable damage to the character, credit and reputation, both nationally and internationally.
She claimed that she was also brought into public scandal, odium and contempt and that she suffered considerable distress, anxiety and embarrassment, entitling her to seek aggravated and exemplary damages.
Teresa said that on Sept 15, through her lawyer, she demanded from the defendants, a retraction, apology and damages but was refused.
She is seeking RM30mil in general damages, aggravated damages, exemplary damages, as well as an injunction to restrain the defendants or their agents, from repeating the defamatory words, interest, costs and any relief deemed proper by the court.
The writ of summons was filed at the Civil High Court registry in the Jalan Duta Court Complex on Thursday, through law firm, S. N. Nair & Partner.
In her statement of claim, Teresa, who is also Selangor senior state executive council member, claimed that the article headlined Azan, Jawi, Jais, UiTM dan baalifbaya, published in its newspaper on Sept 1, meant that she was untrustworthy, a bad politician, racist and anti-Islam.
She claimed that the defamatory article was also understood to mean that she was also an intolerant, chauvinistic politician who had committed a criminal offence which was punishable with imprisonment.
Teresa, 44, said the defendants published the article in question with the knowledge and/or with the intention that the gist of the article would be republished in the local and international media, both electronic and the press.
Teresa, who was arrested under the Internal Security Act (ISA) for seven days following the issue, said the defamatory article was republished and disseminated and circulated in Malaysia and to the world, through Utusan’s online services.
She said as a result, her reputation was gravely injured and also caused irreparable damage to the character, credit and reputation, both nationally and internationally.
She claimed that she was also brought into public scandal, odium and contempt and that she suffered considerable distress, anxiety and embarrassment, entitling her to seek aggravated and exemplary damages.
Teresa said that on Sept 15, through her lawyer, she demanded from the defendants, a retraction, apology and damages but was refused.
She is seeking RM30mil in general damages, aggravated damages, exemplary damages, as well as an injunction to restrain the defendants or their agents, from repeating the defamatory words, interest, costs and any relief deemed proper by the court.
Why do men take second wives?
Polygamy has nothing to do with culture or religion. Men, and women too, cheat because they can.
WHEN a male friend told me he planned on taking a second wife, all I could do was try not to choke on dinner. Are you serious, I asked. He said yes, he had fallen in love with a single mother, but it was not his fate to marry her.
Thinking it was perhaps due her compassion, her earnest desire to bring up her sprogs in a Godly way and that life was indeed a struggle, I choked on my dessert when my friend told me the first thing he noticed about her was that she owned a great set of jugs.
Now, my friend takes his religious obligations very seriously. His first wife wears the hijab. So to hear him admit that it was his paramour’s cleavage that caught his heart was quite shocking.
It was due to women like me, whose so-called Western, secular and feminist ideas of polygamy that pushed it underground. I then asked him, whether his equally-pious wife agreed to him taking on another wife, and he said no. She gave him an earful.
But our friend was on a roll. Now that his journey into polygamy was thwarted, it was all our fault. We modern Malay women, be they religious or not, were forcing men like him to marry in Thailand or Iran, where they practised nikah Muta’ah.
He was emulating the steps of our good Prophet Mohamed, he argued.
“You have got your Islamic history upside down! Nabi married war widows, and his first wife was older than he. Aishah was the youngest. And I don’t think our Prophet married any woman because she had great breasts!”
“You don’t understand.”
“Okay then. Why don’t you sell your car and take a camel to work then?”
I’m realistic. I know men who adore their wives and love them to bits, but they can still love their mistresses and other wives. Am I condoning affairs and polygamy? No. But this happens. It has nothing to do with Islam or being Malay, though polygamy is part of the culture.
We’re Asians. We have a long history of concubinage. There are good men who are faithful, and there are good men who have other wives. There are also bad men who are faithful and also bad men who are unfaithful.
Just like our politics, love in Malaysia is a circus. Weeee!
I’m not going to bore you with what polygamy in Islam is about, as it has been written before and talked about to death. Women’s rights activists have long fought for this “crime” to be illegal, but we face a tough fight. Sometimes it’s not the men who are itching for it, but yes, our gender, too.
In the 80s, when I was young and clueless, meeting mistresses and second or third wives would be sinful and against my principles.
These days? “Oh, you’re a mistress?” “Oh, you’re a hidden wife?” Yawn. Wear tudung or mini skirt, got. Educated or stupid, got. Some of our mothers are The Other Women, and are good mothers. So how?
Is this phenomenon particular to our culture? Oh no. Read the British newspapers. Mistressing is talked about to death in feminist columns.
But I thought after that dinner with my friend, I’d revisit the issue again. Some of the findings from my five-sen survey:
> Theoretically ... polygamy is OK. But must ikut hukum Allah lah. There are conditions.
> Ya, but… actually, kan, for career women like us, it does work. Nak jaga laki 24 jam … gue tak larat la. Biar bini nombor satu jaga. After all, in Islam, polygamous wives are taken care of legally. Better a Muslim second wife than a common law wife.
> But really. Think about it. Convenient, what. You see him once a week, makan once a week, have sex once a week...
> Sex once a week?! Baik tak yah jadi bini nombor dua macam tu! Chit. Once a week mana cukup?!
Why do men cheat? Again, just an observation dwelled upon by friends and myself. For a lot of polygamous men, they marry good women who fit their criteria of holiness, wifeliness and motherhood.
Intimacy between the men and their wives are perfunctory. It’s make-the-baby-cover-the-face sex. With their girlfriends and second wives, it’s Penthouse all the way, baby. It’s the soul thing.
At least this is what I got from talking to quite a number of married men. It’s not because of the first wives’ lack of trying; they want to have healthy intimate lives, but the bees in their husbands’s bonnets keep reminding the men of the Madonna-Whore syndrome.
Malaysia is not a place for single women desiring Hollywood-movie type of marriages and love. KL especially is a city for marriages and affairs. And it has nothing to do with money. There are rich men who cheat, and I know of a despatch boy who has two wives!
There are many single-again women like my friends and I, who still believe in marriage and love. But I can tell you, should we walk down that path again one day, we’re going down it with our eyes open and keep a part of our hearts to ourselves. Because you never know.
Perhaps my friend, an activist who makes a living entering and staying in war zones, is right.
“We have women like you, me, your mother, your aunt and friend who fight so hard for women and children and yet face a brick wall, simply because we ‘understand’ so much, and forgive all the time, which is why cheating, affairs and polygamy are rampant, to the detriment or contribution (depends how you look at it) of our well-being,” says my friend.
Another friend, Sharizal Sharaani, put it succinctly: “Men (and, yes, women too) cheat because they can. Full stop.”
WHEN a male friend told me he planned on taking a second wife, all I could do was try not to choke on dinner. Are you serious, I asked. He said yes, he had fallen in love with a single mother, but it was not his fate to marry her.
Thinking it was perhaps due her compassion, her earnest desire to bring up her sprogs in a Godly way and that life was indeed a struggle, I choked on my dessert when my friend told me the first thing he noticed about her was that she owned a great set of jugs.
Now, my friend takes his religious obligations very seriously. His first wife wears the hijab. So to hear him admit that it was his paramour’s cleavage that caught his heart was quite shocking.
It was due to women like me, whose so-called Western, secular and feminist ideas of polygamy that pushed it underground. I then asked him, whether his equally-pious wife agreed to him taking on another wife, and he said no. She gave him an earful.
But our friend was on a roll. Now that his journey into polygamy was thwarted, it was all our fault. We modern Malay women, be they religious or not, were forcing men like him to marry in Thailand or Iran, where they practised nikah Muta’ah.
He was emulating the steps of our good Prophet Mohamed, he argued.
“You have got your Islamic history upside down! Nabi married war widows, and his first wife was older than he. Aishah was the youngest. And I don’t think our Prophet married any woman because she had great breasts!”
“You don’t understand.”
“Okay then. Why don’t you sell your car and take a camel to work then?”
I’m realistic. I know men who adore their wives and love them to bits, but they can still love their mistresses and other wives. Am I condoning affairs and polygamy? No. But this happens. It has nothing to do with Islam or being Malay, though polygamy is part of the culture.
We’re Asians. We have a long history of concubinage. There are good men who are faithful, and there are good men who have other wives. There are also bad men who are faithful and also bad men who are unfaithful.
Just like our politics, love in Malaysia is a circus. Weeee!
I’m not going to bore you with what polygamy in Islam is about, as it has been written before and talked about to death. Women’s rights activists have long fought for this “crime” to be illegal, but we face a tough fight. Sometimes it’s not the men who are itching for it, but yes, our gender, too.
In the 80s, when I was young and clueless, meeting mistresses and second or third wives would be sinful and against my principles.
These days? “Oh, you’re a mistress?” “Oh, you’re a hidden wife?” Yawn. Wear tudung or mini skirt, got. Educated or stupid, got. Some of our mothers are The Other Women, and are good mothers. So how?
Is this phenomenon particular to our culture? Oh no. Read the British newspapers. Mistressing is talked about to death in feminist columns.
But I thought after that dinner with my friend, I’d revisit the issue again. Some of the findings from my five-sen survey:
> Theoretically ... polygamy is OK. But must ikut hukum Allah lah. There are conditions.
> Ya, but… actually, kan, for career women like us, it does work. Nak jaga laki 24 jam … gue tak larat la. Biar bini nombor satu jaga. After all, in Islam, polygamous wives are taken care of legally. Better a Muslim second wife than a common law wife.
> But really. Think about it. Convenient, what. You see him once a week, makan once a week, have sex once a week...
> Sex once a week?! Baik tak yah jadi bini nombor dua macam tu! Chit. Once a week mana cukup?!
Why do men cheat? Again, just an observation dwelled upon by friends and myself. For a lot of polygamous men, they marry good women who fit their criteria of holiness, wifeliness and motherhood.
Intimacy between the men and their wives are perfunctory. It’s make-the-baby-cover-the-face sex. With their girlfriends and second wives, it’s Penthouse all the way, baby. It’s the soul thing.
At least this is what I got from talking to quite a number of married men. It’s not because of the first wives’ lack of trying; they want to have healthy intimate lives, but the bees in their husbands’s bonnets keep reminding the men of the Madonna-Whore syndrome.
Malaysia is not a place for single women desiring Hollywood-movie type of marriages and love. KL especially is a city for marriages and affairs. And it has nothing to do with money. There are rich men who cheat, and I know of a despatch boy who has two wives!
There are many single-again women like my friends and I, who still believe in marriage and love. But I can tell you, should we walk down that path again one day, we’re going down it with our eyes open and keep a part of our hearts to ourselves. Because you never know.
Perhaps my friend, an activist who makes a living entering and staying in war zones, is right.
“We have women like you, me, your mother, your aunt and friend who fight so hard for women and children and yet face a brick wall, simply because we ‘understand’ so much, and forgive all the time, which is why cheating, affairs and polygamy are rampant, to the detriment or contribution (depends how you look at it) of our well-being,” says my friend.
Another friend, Sharizal Sharaani, put it succinctly: “Men (and, yes, women too) cheat because they can. Full stop.”
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
TOUCH
It’s amazing how much a simple touch can convey. In general, it shows a level of comfort and acceptance.My mom, for instance is incredibly affectionate. She absolutely loves to hug to show her love for us. My dad, on the other hand, tends to express his love through thoughtfulness instead of physical touch. He really dislikes hugs, the ones he does surrender are mechanical, with a measured pat, pat, pat on the back & shoulder. I’d rather no hug than one that isn’t warm and tight around me. Side hugs are okay, but they have to be given whole-heartedly. The best hugs, though, are ones given in certain situations, because they are the most meaningful. When you’re sad, when it’s a special celebration, when saying goodbye, when you haven’t seen that person in quite a while. Hugs aren’t the only forms of touch that convey meaning. Small touches to the arm show that someone is comfortable around you. Hand holding is fun with friends. It’s the one form of public displays of affection. Sometimes it’s a functional touch, saying, “Hey, stay close by.” Sometimes it’s a caring touch, “Hey, I just want to be close to you.” Either way, it’s not something I take for granted.
Possibly my favorite touch is a kiss on the forehead. It is just so astoundingly sweet and gentle. I walk away feeling innocent and adored.
And another new touch I’ve come to treasure is my dog’s unabashed cuddling. Anytime, anywhere he’s ready to jump on my lap and lay while I do work or watch TV. He may be as heavy as an anvil, but he’s so loyal and eager that it’s hard to kick him off and refuse him petting.
Touch truly can communicate. So, whether it is coming from someone I love, or a stranger, or a friend, simple touches can mean I miss you or I like to be with you or even we are friends.
Possibly my favorite touch is a kiss on the forehead. It is just so astoundingly sweet and gentle. I walk away feeling innocent and adored.
And another new touch I’ve come to treasure is my dog’s unabashed cuddling. Anytime, anywhere he’s ready to jump on my lap and lay while I do work or watch TV. He may be as heavy as an anvil, but he’s so loyal and eager that it’s hard to kick him off and refuse him petting.
Touch truly can communicate. So, whether it is coming from someone I love, or a stranger, or a friend, simple touches can mean I miss you or I like to be with you or even we are friends.
PuR-R-FeCt MoRnInG
Life never seems to be the way we want it,
but we live it the best way we can.There is no
perfect life, but we can fill it with perfect
Moments...Good morning!
Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi’S UMNO CAREER - Malaysiakini
Sept 23, 2004: Won uncontested as Umno President
May 2000: Umno deputy president
1998: Chairman of Penang Umno state liaison committee
1996 - 2001: Umno vice-president
1993 - 1996: Umno supreme council member
1990: Head of Umno delegation to the National Economic Consultative Committee/ Chairman of the Committee on the Restructuring of Society
1984 - 1990: Umno vice-president
1981: Umno supreme council member
1979:- Bertam Umno branch chief
1979: Kepala Batas Umno division chief
1978 to present: Kepala Batas MP
May 2000: Umno deputy president
1998: Chairman of Penang Umno state liaison committee
1996 - 2001: Umno vice-president
1993 - 1996: Umno supreme council member
1990: Head of Umno delegation to the National Economic Consultative Committee/ Chairman of the Committee on the Restructuring of Society
1984 - 1990: Umno vice-president
1981: Umno supreme council member
1979:- Bertam Umno branch chief
1979: Kepala Batas Umno division chief
1978 to present: Kepala Batas MP
Distant Love
Don’t let the miles between us
Keep our love apart
Just listen close and you will hear
The beating of my heart
No distance, will ever keep
My heart from loving you
There are no more tears for it to weep
For a love that runs so true
I’ll be there with you one day soon
To love you everyday
And then my heart will sing a tune
And you will hear it say
I’ve finally found my one true love
As true as one can be
And now your all I’m thinking of
Forever stay with me
Keep our love apart
Just listen close and you will hear
The beating of my heart
No distance, will ever keep
My heart from loving you
There are no more tears for it to weep
For a love that runs so true
I’ll be there with you one day soon
To love you everyday
And then my heart will sing a tune
And you will hear it say
I’ve finally found my one true love
As true as one can be
And now your all I’m thinking of
Forever stay with me
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